got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
being pregnant is like rehab
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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