This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
