Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
