Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have demons in me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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