You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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