i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
