how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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