all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
