You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
