found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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