Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
