Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
