would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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