So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
