the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize