at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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