Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
