I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
