He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
