just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
