He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
