i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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