Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
