Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Two words: blizzard sex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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