Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize