Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
