she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
