Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
