is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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