Sry I called you an 8
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
