Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
