You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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