you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
