i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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