Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize