Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize