Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I cannot find my penis.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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