it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
