We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
