Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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