My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
