Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
