I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
