You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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