No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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