wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
