hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
