We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
