..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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