Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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