get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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