It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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