the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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