38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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