She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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