EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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