how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
