So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
