Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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