eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
